What if I told you that the thing you’re desperately chasing—the perfect body, fame, success, more money—isn’t actually what you want?
I’ve spent decades figuring this out, and I’m going to save you years of frustration, time, and suffering in the next few minutes.
We all do this. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when…”
“I’ll be happy when I lose weight.”
“I’ll be happy when I get the promotion.”
“I’ll be happy when I find love.”
“I’ll finally feel respected when I’m successful.”
But here’s the truth I wish I had known earlier: You are worthy right now.
The Illusion of “When”
Let me share something embarrassing: I used to want to be famous. Ever since I was 12 and had my first role in a school play, I craved the attention, the accolades. I thought, “If I get famous, everyone will like me. Life will work out. I’ll be happy.”
For years, I chased that dream—auditions, rejections, small wins—always thinking the next role would make me feel complete. But here’s what I’ve learned:
Fame wasn’t what I wanted.
What I was really seeking was love, validation, and acceptance—things I could have given myself all along.
And it’s not just fame. I used to believe no one would love me unless I was thin.
Every failed relationship, I blamed on my body. I thought, “If I just lose weight, I’ll find love.” And guess what? I did get thin. I did find love. I’ve been with my dream partner for seven years. But even then, I realized something profound: What I truly wanted wasn’t the perfect body or the perfect relationship.
What I wanted was my own love. To feel love for myself. To approve of myself. To deeply accept myself as I am—no matter what I weigh, no matter what I look like. And I could have given myself that a long time ago.
The Trap of Achievement
Think about it:
How many times have you chased a goal, achieved it, felt happy for a moment, and then moved on to the next thing?
That dissatisfaction, that itch, never really goes away. It’s because we’re chasing the wrong thing.
I work as a podiatrist, and most of my patients are over 70. Some are in their 90s, even over 100. Over the years, I’ve seen what it looks like to age well—and what it looks like to age poorly. It’s not about looks or money. It’s about mindset.
I’ve had patients in multi-million-dollar homes who feel empty, and patients in modest flats who radiate joy. One of my patients, an 85-year-old woman, jumped out of a plane. Another, at 92, complained about her wrinkles, envious of her daughter-in-law’s skin.
Here’s what I’ve learned from them:
We’re either evolving or devolving, but we’re never staying the same. If you’re not growing, learning, and experiencing, you’re dying—not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Your world gets smaller. You become stunted.
True Freedom
True freedom isn’t about achieving external goals. It’s about internal peace.
It’s when something that used to scare you doesn’t scare you anymore. It’s when you can look in the mirror and see your aging face, your changing body, and say, “I love you.”
It’s when you can walk into a party and think, “Who can I meet? What can I learn?” instead of, “What will people think of me?” That’s real confidence—not the fake kind where you’re seeking validation through Instagram likes or external approval.
I used to think I wouldn’t feel safe until I paid off my mortgage.
But then someone asked me, “What if you paid it off? Would you feel safe then?” And I realized: No. Because my fear wasn’t about the mortgage. It was about scarcity—the belief that there’s never enough.
But here’s the thing: You can give yourself that feeling of safety and security right now. You can choose to believe that the universe is benevolent, that things will work out. You can reframe the negative into the positive.
The Journey Is the Destination
I recently had a talk on my YouTube channel that hit 33,000 views—a huge milestone for me. But instead of feeling pure joy, I felt fear. “What if the next video doesn’t do as well? What if this was a one-time thing?”
Then I remembered: The journey is the destination. The point isn’t to go viral. The point is to grow, to serve, to add value. It’s about the process, not the outcome.
Life is the same way. It’s not about reaching the peak of the mountain. It’s about the climb—the dragons you slay, the obstacles you overcome, the lessons you learn along the way. That’s the hero’s journey. That’s life.
What You Really Want
Here’s what it took me 20 years to understand: Everything you think you want is because it’s going to give you a feeling. Love, acceptance, validation, worthiness. And here’s the secret: You can give yourself that feeling right now.
You want to feel worthy? Give yourself permission to feel worthy. You’re worthy because you exist. You’re an aspect of the divine.
You want to feel safe? Choose to believe that the universe is benevolent, that it loves you.
You want to feel loved? Love yourself. Develop a relationship with yourself.
We’re meant to grow, to evolve, to dream big dreams. But not because those dreams will make us happy. It’s because the process of growing itself is what brings fulfillment.
The Choice Is Yours
So, what are you waiting for? What’s the thing you think will make you feel complete, whole, or happy? Give that to yourself right now.
Life isn’t about reaching some magical destination. It’s about growing until we take our last breath. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone, trying new things, and seeing what doors open.
Every year, I look back and think, “Oh, that wasn’t a good look. How embarrassing.” And that’s a good thing. It means I’m growing. I’m evolving. And I hope to live that way for the rest of my life.
You can too. The choice is yours.