Let me ask you something: What’s the one thought you can’t stop thinking about?
Maybe it’s a mistake you made years ago. A person you can’t forget. A fear that whispers, “What if I fail?” You’ve tried everything—meditation, mantras, sheer willpower—but the thought clings like a shadow.
Here’s the raw truth: You can’t force a thought out of your mind. But you can stop feeding it.
The Day I Learned to Stop Carrying the Woman
Years ago, I heard a story that changed everything.
Two monks—a wise elder and a young novice—were traveling when they met a woman stranded by a river.
The elder monk carried her across, set her down, and walked on.
The younger monk fumed for days. “We’re monks! We’re not supposed to touch women!” Finally, he exploded. The elder monk smiled: “I put her down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?”
That’s when it hit me: The thoughts we fight are the ones that stay.
The Mind’s Dirty Little Secret
Your mind doesn’t understand “don’t.”
Say, “Don’t think about monkeys,” and guess what? You’re picturing monkeys. Try to suppress a memory, and it boomerangs back, louder.
Why? Because the mind works on addition, not subtraction. You can’t erase a thought. But you can replace it.
Here’s how:
- Stop Wrestling. The more you fight a thought, the stronger it grows. Instead, say: “Hello, fear. I see you. But I’m not feeding you today.”
- Redirect. When the thought arises, shift your focus—not to avoiding it, but to creating something better. Write. Paint. Dance. Build.
- Aspire Higher. The elder monk wasn’t avoiding women. He was focused on his path. When you’re climbing a mountain, you don’t obsess over the rocks. You keep your eyes on the peak.
The Trap of “I Don’t Want”
We’ve been taught willpower is the answer. “I won’t think about that. I won’t feel this.” But here’s the twist: What you resist persists.
Think of your mind as a garden. You can’t stop weeds from sprouting. But you can plant flowers so thick the weeds have no room to grow.
The Practice That Silences the Noise
- Name the Thought. When it arises, label it: “Ah, there’s my old friend, regret.” Naming it robs it of power.
- Breathe It Out. Sit still. Inhale: “I am here.” Exhale: “This thought is not me.”
- Create a Mental Altar. Visualize a sacred space in your mind. When unwanted thoughts intrude, place them on the altar and say: “I release you.”
The Day I Stopped Fighting My Mind
I used to battle my thoughts like a warrior. “Why can’t I stop thinking about __?” Then I realized: The fight was the problem.
Now, when a thought arises, I ask: “Is this serving me?” If not, I don’t fight it. I thank it. “Thanks for the reminder. But I’m choosing peace today.”
Your Invitation
Tonight, sit quietly. Close your eyes. Notice the thoughts swirling like leaves in a storm. Don’t chase them. Don’t fight them. Just watch.
Then ask: “What am I still carrying?”
The answer might surprise you.
P.S. The next time a thought whispers, “You’re not enough,” whisper back: “I put you down hours ago. Why are you still here?”
Now go climb your mountain. The view is worth it.