Let’s talk about something we all know too well: suffering. That ache in your chest when life feels heavy. That knot in your stomach when things don’t go your way. That voice in your head whispering, “This is just how life is.”
But here’s the question: Is suffering inevitable?
The answer might surprise you.
The Illusion of Inevitability
We’ve been taught that suffering is part of the human condition. That it’s woven into the fabric of life. But what if I told you that suffering isn’t something that happens to you—it’s something you create?
Think about it: People suffer in poverty, and they suffer in wealth. They suffer in loneliness, and they suffer in relationships. They suffer in discomfort, and they suffer in comfort.
If suffering can arise in any circumstance, doesn’t that tell you something? Suffering isn’t about what’s happening out there. It’s about what’s happening in here.
The Freudian Trap: Why We’ve Got It All Wrong
For decades, we’ve turned to psychology to explain our pain. But here’s the problem: Psychology was built by studying sick people. It’s like trying to understand the ocean by studying a puddle.
When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. And when your only lens is suffering, everything looks like a problem.
But what if we shifted the lens? What if, instead of asking, “Why am I suffering?” we asked, “How can I create joy?”
The Power of the Present Moment
Here’s the secret: Suffering exists only when you’re not fully present.
Think about it. When you’re lost in a song, dancing like no one’s watching, or laughing so hard your stomach hurts—do you suffer in those moments? No. Because in those moments, you’re here. Fully. Completely.
But the moment your mind wanders—to the past, to the future, to what someone said or didn’t say—suffering creeps in.
So, the question isn’t “How do I stop suffering?” It’s “How do I stay present?”
The Technology of Joy
You don’t need to climb a mountain or fall in love to experience joy. You don’t need to wait for the perfect moment. Joy is a technology. And like any technology, it can be mastered.
Here’s how it works:
- Start Small: Can you create one moment of joy? Just one. A deep breath. A smile. A pause to feel the sun on your skin.
- Stack the Moments: If you can create one moment, can you create another? And another?
- Build the Habit: Joy isn’t a destination. It’s a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
The Three Levels of Mastery
If you want to take control of your life—and your suffering—you need to master three things:
- Your Body: When you master your body, 15-30% of your life is in your hands. You eat well. You move. You sleep deeply. You stop letting physical discomfort dictate your mood.
- Your Mind: When you master your mind, 40-60% of your life is in your control. You stop letting thoughts spiral. You stop letting emotions hijack you. You become the driver, not the passenger.
- Your Energy: When you master your life energy, 100% of your destiny is yours to shape. You live intentionally. You die peacefully. You become the author of your story.
The Liberating Truth
Suffering isn’t inevitable. It’s a choice.
Not a conscious choice, of course. No one wakes up and says, “Today, I choose to suffer.” But it is a choice—a choice to stay unconscious. A choice to let life happen to you instead of through you.
The moment you take responsibility for your inner world, everything changes.
Your Invitation
Today, try this:
- Pause: Notice when suffering arises. Don’t fight it. Just observe it.
- Shift: Ask yourself, “What would joy look like in this moment?”
- Act: Do one thing—no matter how small—to create that joy.
You are not a victim of your circumstances. You are the creator of your experience.
Now go—create something beautiful.