Let’s talk about something we all do—something that’s quietly stealing our joy, our relationships, and our ability to truly live.
We dig. We dig into the past, into old stories, into memories that no longer serve us. And while we’re busy excavating, life is happening right in front of us, untouched, unnoticed, unlived.
The Question That Haunts Us
You’ve heard it before. Maybe you’ve even said it yourself: “How did I ever marry you?” It’s a question that slips out after years of shared routines, unspoken frustrations, and the occasional slammed door. But here’s the thing—when that question arises, it’s not about the past. It’s about now.
If someone is wondering, “How did I ever end up with you?” don’t start digging into ancient history. Don’t blame past lives or karma or some cosmic joke. Look at yourself. Look at how you’re living this life. Are you present? Are you kind? Are you the kind of person you’d want to be married to?
The Janam Janam Trap
We’ve all grown up on those old movies—the ones where lovers are destined to find each other across lifetimes. Lifetimes after Lifetimer We are together, they sing. But let’s be honest: those movies are fantasies. Real life isn’t a scripted romance. It’s messy, unpredictable, and beautiful precisely because it’s real.
Modern relationships aren’t about lifetimes of baggage. They’re about choice. “I’m with you because I want to be with you—not because some ancient bond forces me to.” That’s the kind of love that matters. That’s the kind of love that lasts.
The Golden Years Illusion
We do this with our own lives too. We romanticize the past. “Oh, school was the golden time of my life!”
Really? Was it? Because I remember hating exams, dreading teachers, and counting down the days until summer break. It’s only “golden” now because it’s over.
The same thing happens with relationships.
When they’re over, we suddenly remember all the good times.
“Oh, it was so wonderful!” But if it was so wonderful, why didn’t you feel that way when it was happening?
Don’t wait until something is gone to appreciate it. Love it while it’s here.
The Weight of Memory
Here’s the hard truth: Your memory is crippling you. It’s turning your mind into a museum of old hurts, old stories, and old identities. And while you’re busy dusting off those exhibits, life is passing you by.
Your mind isn’t meant to be a storage unit for the past. It’s meant to be a tool—a way to engage with the world, to explore, to create, to connect.
But when you’re stuck in the past, you can’t do any of that. You’re too busy digging.
The Shift That Matters
Think about how far we’ve come as a society.
Once, your value was determined by your father’s name, your family’s status, your lineage. But now? Now, you’re valued for who you are. That’s a huge shift. A revolutionary one.
So why are we still clinging to the past? Why are we asking, “Who was I in my previous life?” or “What happened in my past to make me this way?” Those questions are worse than useless—they’re distractions. What matters is who you are right now.
What matters is what you’re doing with this life, this moment, this breath.
Stop Digging
Here’s my challenge to you: Stop digging. Stop rummaging through the past for answers that don’t exist. Stop using old stories to explain your present.
Instead, look at the person in front of you. See them for who they are now. Love them for who they’re choosing to be today. And do the same for yourself.
Life isn’t about where you’ve been. It’s about where you are. It’s about the ground beneath your feet, the air in your lungs, the people in your life.
The Final Truth
When you die—and you will—your past won’t matter. Your memories won’t matter.
What will matter is how you lived.
Did you love fully?
Did you live boldly?
Did you embrace the messy, beautiful, imperfect now?
So stop digging. Start living. The past is gone. The future is uncertain. But this moment? This moment is yours.
P.S. The next time you catch yourself digging into the past, take a deep breath. Look around. This is your life. Don’t miss it.
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