Let’s talk about something that cuts deep—something that can turn love into a battlefield and trust into a fragile thread. Betrayal.
It’s a word that carries the weight of shattered expectations, broken promises, and the lingering question: “How could they?”
But here’s the truth: Trust issues don’t start with the other person. They start with you.
The Root of Betrayal: Unrealistic Expectations
Think about it. When someone “betrays” you, what’s really happening? They’re doing what they want to do, not what you want them to do. And that’s the crux of the issue.
You see, betrayal isn’t about their actions. It’s about your expectations. You’ve built an image of how they should behave, how they should love you, how they should prioritize you. And when they don’t live up to that image, you feel betrayed.
But here’s the hard truth: Love isn’t about control. It’s about freedom.
If you truly love someone, you let them be who they are—not who you want them to be.
The Illusion of “Fixing” Someone
Now, you might argue, “But what if they’re going down a path that’s harmful to them? Don’t I have a right to intervene?”
Yes, and no.
If someone you love is genuinely harming themselves, of course, you want to help. But let’s be honest: Most of the time, your concern isn’t about their well-being. It’s about yours.
You’re not upset because they’re making bad choices. You’re upset because their choices don’t align with what you want.
The Power of Earning Trust
Here’s the thing: You can’t force your way into someone’s life and demand they change. Trust isn’t a given—it’s earned.
If you want to influence someone, you have to build a relationship where your words carry weight. You have to show them, through your actions, that you’re coming from a place of love—not control.
But if you haven’t earned that level of closeness, you don’t get to intervene. And that’s okay.
Let Go and Love
So, how do you deal with trust issues?
- Examine Your Expectations
Are you holding someone to an impossible standard? Are you expecting them to live up to an image you’ve created? Let go of that image. See them for who they are, not who you want them to be. - Love Without Strings
True love isn’t conditional. It doesn’t say, “I’ll love you if you do this.” It says, “I’ll love you no matter what.” - Earn the Right to Intervene
If you want to help someone, earn their trust. Show them, through your actions, that you’re on their side—not just your own. - Let Go of Control
You can’t control someone else’s choices. You can only control your own. Focus on being the best version of yourself, and let others do the same.
The Final Truth
Trust issues aren’t about the other person. They’re about your fear of losing control.
But here’s the secret: The moment you let go of control, you find freedom. Freedom to love without fear. Freedom to trust without conditions. Freedom to be yourself—and let others do the same.
So, stop clinging to expectations. Stop trying to fix people. Start loving them—flaws and all.
*P.S. The next time you feel betrayed, ask yourself: *“Am I upset because they hurt me, or because they didn’t live up to my expectations?”* The answer might surprise you.*