Let’s talk about something that touches every single one of us at some point—grief. That deep, aching emptiness that comes when someone you love is gone.
It feels like a part of you has been ripped away, doesn’t it? Like the world has lost its color, its meaning.
But what if I told you that grief isn’t about the person who’s gone? What if I told you it’s about you? Let’s explore this together.
The Truth About Grief
When someone you love dies, it’s natural to feel broken. Your world feels incomplete, like a puzzle missing its most important piece. But here’s the truth: Grief isn’t about death. It’s about the hole that’s left in your life.
Think about it. Every day, hundreds of thousands of people die.
Does each death leave you grieving? No. But when someone you love dies, it feels like the ground beneath you has vanished.
Why? Because that person was a part of your life. They filled a space in your heart, in your daily existence. And now that they’re gone, you’re left staring at that emptiness.
But here’s the thing: That emptiness was always there.
Real Problem: Incompleteness
Grief isn’t about the person who’s gone. It’s about you feeling incomplete.
You see, we’re all searching for wholeness.
We try to fill that void with people, relationships, jobs, possessions. We think, If I have this person, this job, this house, I’ll feel complete. But the moment something or someone is taken away, the void reappears. And that’s when grief hits.
But what if I told you that you were never incomplete to begin with?
You Are Already Whole
This life you’re living—it’s not a half-finished project. It’s not a broken thing waiting to be fixed. You are already whole.
The problem isn’t that you’re incomplete. The problem is that you think you’re incomplete. You’ve been trying to fill yourself up with external things—people, possessions, achievements. But no matter how much you gather, the void remains.
Why? Because the void isn’t out there. It’s in you. And the only way to fill it is to realize that it doesn’t exist.
How to Move Through Grief
So, how do you deal with grief? How do you move through that pain and find peace?
- Stop Trying to Fill the Void
The more you try to fill the emptiness with memories, regrets, or even new relationships, the deeper it grows. Instead, sit with it. Feel it. Let it be. - Realize You Are Complete
This life you’re living—it’s a complete piece of existence. You don’t need anything or anyone to make it whole. The moment you realize this, the void disappears. - Let Love Replace Grief
When someone dies, the barriers between you and them vanish. All the little annoyances, the arguments, the disagreements—they’re gone. What’s left is pure love. Let that love fill you. Let it overwhelm you.
Grief Is Not a Human Necessity
Here’s something that might sound harsh, but it’s true: Grief is not a natural human response. It’s a sign of incompleteness.
We’ve been taught that grief is human. That breaking down is human. But what about love? What about joy? What about bliss? Aren’t those human too?
Why do we call the lowest aspects of life “human” and the highest aspects “divine”? Why do we export all the beautiful qualities—love, bliss, peace—to heaven, as if they don’t belong to us?
They do. They’re yours. They’re human.
The Invitation
The next time grief knocks on your door, don’t run from it. Don’t try to fill it. Sit with it. Look at it. And realize: This pain is not about the person who’s gone. It’s about the part of you that feels incomplete.
And then, remember: You are not incomplete. You are whole. You are life itself.
When you realize this, grief loses its power. It becomes love. It becomes gratitude. It becomes peace.