Let’s talk about something that keeps you up at night—the search for “the one.” The person who’ll complete you, understand you, and magically make life perfect.
But what if I told you that the “right person” doesn’t exist? What if I told you that the real question isn’t who to choose, but how to choose? Let’s dig in.
Myth of the Perfect Match
Imagine this: You’re at a family dinner, and someone declares they’re marrying Lucy from across the street. The room erupts. “Lucy? Her hair looks fake!” “She’s always painted!” “She doesn’t even know cricket!” But the clincher? “I’m marrying her because she has no family.”
Funny? Yes. Relatable? Absolutely.
We’ve all been Lucy—judged, dissected, and deemed “not right” by someone’s checklist.
But here’s the truth: There’s no “right person” on this planet. No soulmate pre-packaged by the universe. No flawless human waiting to fix your life.
The idea that someone out there is made for you? It’s a fantasy. A dangerous one.
Beggar’s Dilemma
Let’s get real. Most of us approach relationships like beggars. We bring a laundry list of needs—physical, emotional, financial, social—and hope someone fills them. But here’s the problem: Beggars can’t choose.
If you’re desperate for validation, security, or love, you’ll take whatever crumbs come your way. You’ll settle for Lucy, or Larry, or whoever happens to walk by. But relationships built on need are ticking time bombs.
Real Work Starts With You
So, how do you break free?
- Stop Hunting. Start Becoming.
The secret isn’t finding the right person. It’s being the right person. Ask yourself: Am I someone others want to be with? If your answer is shaky, invest in yourself. Cultivate joy, confidence, and inner peace. When you radiate wholeness, you won’t need to chase love—it’ll chase you. - Embrace the “Idiot” Theory
Let’s face it: We’re all beautifully flawed idiots. You’ve got your quirks, they’ve got theirs. Relationships aren’t about finding perfection—they’re about dancing with differences. Imagine two people trying to tango in sync. Boring. The magic is in the clash, the push-pull, the difference. - Involvement Over Perfection
Even if you marry a fool, it can work—if you pour your heart into it. Love isn’t about finding someone who checks every box. It’s about choosing someone and saying, “Let’s build something messy and real.” The deepest connections aren’t born from compatibility charts. They’re forged through shared laughter, tears, and the grit to stay when things get ugly.
Soulmate Trap
Let’s kill the myth: Soulmates aren’t found. They’re made.
The idea that God crafted one perfect person for you? It’s a fairytale. And if you believe it, you’ll spend your life hopping from Lucy to Larry, wondering why no one fits. Even Krishna—the “greatest lover”—left his wives unhappy. Perfection doesn’t exist. But devotion does.
The Invitation
So, how do you find the right person?
- Ditch the Checklist
Stop hunting for a clone. Sameness is suffocating. Seek someone who challenges you, surprises you, and makes you laugh at life’s absurdity. - Fall in Love With Your Own Life
When you’re whole on your own, you don’t need anyone. You choose them. And that choice is powerful. - Build, Don’t Search
The best relationships aren’t discovered—they’re built. Brick by brick, moment by moment.
Final Truth
You won’t find the right person. You’ll become the right person. And when you do, you’ll realize: Love isn’t about completing each other. It’s about walking side by side, two messy humans saying, “Let’s figure this out together.”