Let’s talk about something that’s been bothering you—your mind.
That endless chatter, those nagging thoughts, the constant tug-of-war between what you should do and what you want to do.
You’ve probably asked yourself, Can I control my mind? And if you’re like most people, the answer feels like a resounding no.
But what if I told you that the problem isn’t your mind? What if I told you that the problem is how you’re trying to control it? Let’s see more to it
The Forbidden Fruit Trap
We’ve all been there.
Someone tells us, Don’t do that. Don’t think that. Don’t touch that. And what happens? Suddenly, that forbidden thing becomes all you can think about.
Think about it. If I tell you, Don’t think about monkeys for the next 10 seconds, what happens? Your mind floods with monkeys. Why? Because the mind doesn’t understand negation. It doesn’t know how to not think about something.
This is the trap of the forbidden.
When you label something as off-limits, it becomes irresistible. Not because it’s inherently enjoyable, but because your mind is wired to focus on what it’s told to avoid.
The Mind’s Math: Addition and Multiplication
Here’s the thing about your mind: it only knows how to add and multiply. It doesn’t know how to subtract or divide.
What does that mean? It means you can’t just remove a thought. The harder you try to push it away, the stronger it becomes. It’s like a car with three gas pedals—no matter what you press, it only goes faster.
So, when you tell yourself, Don’t think about that, you’re not solving the problem. You’re making it worse.
Problem with Labels: Good vs. Bad
We’ve been taught to label everything: This is good. This is bad. This is a virtue. This is a sin. But these labels don’t come from life. They come from people who don’t understand how the mind works.
When you label something as “bad” or “forbidden,” you create a conflict within yourself. You’re not just fighting the thing itself—you’re fighting your own mind. And that’s a battle you’ll never win.
Solution: Stop Fighting, Start Observing
So, how do you deal with your mind? How do you stop it from running wild?
The answer isn’t to control it. It’s to understand it.
- Stop Labeling
Drop the idea of “forbidden” and “allowed.” Instead, ask yourself: What is my natural inclination? What brings me joy? When you act from joy, not fear, you’ll find balance naturally. - Stop Resisting
When a thought arises, don’t fight it. Observe it. Say to yourself, Oh, there’s a thought. And then let it go. The more you resist, the more it persists. - Stop Overthinking
Your mind is like a wild horse. The harder you pull the reins, the more it bucks. Instead, give it space. Let it run. Eventually, it will tire itself out.
Power of Awareness
The truth is, you don’t need to control your mind. You need to be aware of it.
When you observe your thoughts without judgment, something incredible happens: they lose their power. They stop controlling you, and you start controlling them.
This isn’t about suppressing your mind. It’s about understanding it. When you understand how your mind works, you stop being its slave and become its master.
The Invitation
So, can you control your mind?
The answer is yes—but not by force. You control it by understanding it. By observing it. By letting it be.
The next time a forbidden thought arises, don’t fight it. Don’t label it. Just watch it. And when you do, you’ll realize: The mind isn’t your enemy. It’s your tool.
P.S. The next time you feel your mind spiraling, remember: You’re not the thinker. You’re the one who’s aware of the thoughts. And that awareness is your greatest power.