Let’s cut through the noise. That mistake you’re replaying—the one that tightens your throat when you’re alone at 2 a.m.—it’s not the real problem. The real chains? They’re forged from two words: “should have.”
“I should have known better.” “They should have loved me more.” “Life should have been fair.”
We cling to these like life rafts, not realizing they’re anchors. Here’s the brutal, beautiful truth: Your past didn’t betray you. Your imagination did.
The Tyranny of Control (And Why It’s a Lie)
You think you want freedom, but you’re addicted to control. You’ve mapped your life like a general plotting war—every relationship a strategy, every choice a calculated move. But life? Life’s a jazz musician. It improvises.
Newsflash: You’re not the conductor. You’re the audience and the dance floor.
When you white-knuckle “your way,” you miss the raw magic of “I never saw that coming.” That job you lost? It made space for the passion project. That heartbreak? It carved you hollow so joy could echo louder.
The Wave Theory of Healing
Picture this: You’re bodysurfing. A massive wave looms. You have two choices:
- Panic. Fight the current. Get dragged under.
- Lean back. Let it carry you.
Your past is that wave. Guilt? That’s you screaming at the water for being wet.
Here’s how survivors ride:
- Stop measuring the wave. It happened. Let it be enormous.
- Stop judging the riptide. “Good/bad” is a fairy tale.
- Arch your spine. Breathe into the momentum.
The secret isn’t to escape the wave—it’s to let it show you you’re buoyant.
The “Solution End” Revolution
You’ve been scanning people for cracks. Coworker too abrasive? Friend too flaky? Newsflash: Everyone’s a grenade with the pin pulled.
But what if you flipped the script?
That critical parent? Their sharp tongue is a compass—pointing you toward self-trust.
The partner who left? Their absence isn’t a hole—it’s a doorway.
Try this: Next time someone triggers you, ask:
“What’s this revealing about where I’m still tender?”
“How could this friction polish me?”
Your Prescription for Radical Freedom
- Host a “Funeral for Should”
Write every “should have” on toilet paper. Flush it. Literally. - Become a Wonder Junkie
Each morning, whisper: “Surprise me.” Then watch—
- How rain patterns mimic your childhood doodles
- How the barista’s tattoo tells your secret story
- How rejection tastes like dark chocolate—bitter, then sweet
- Practice Sacred Amnesia
When shame whispers, answer: “That was a different version of me. Want to meet the upgrade?”
The Unsaid Truth About Regret
Regret isn’t a life sentence—it’s a receipt. Proof you dared. Proof you cared. The day you stop regretting is the day you stop breathing.
But here’s your superpower: You get to decide what the receipt buys.
- Let it purchase wisdom, not wounds.
- Trade guilt for gratitude that you can feel this deeply.
Last Words: Become a Ghostbuster
Those past mistakes haunting you? They’re not poltergeists—they’re paper tigers. Blow harder.
Your life isn’t a courtroom. It’s a mural—and every “wrong” stroke becomes gold in the masterpiece.
Now go smear some paint.
P.S. The next time guilt hisses, “You ruined everything,” laugh and say: “Darling, I’m just getting started.”