Let me ask you something: Have you ever met someone so “good” it made your skin crawl? The kind of person who radiates moral superiority, yet leaves you feeling smaller, dirtier, and somehow… wrong?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Goodness, as we know it, is a trap.
The Lie We Believe: “Goodness Is Virtue”
You’ve been taught that being “good” is the ultimate goal. That if you’re kind, selfless, and morally upright, life will reward you. But let’s be honest: Good people suffer more.
Why? Because goodness is a comparison. It’s not about who you are—it’s about who you’re not.
Think about it: When you call yourself “good,” what are you really saying? *“I’m better than *them.” You’ve built your identity on the broken backs of others. And that’s not virtue. That’s vanity.
The Day I Quit Being “Good”
Years ago, I met a man who prided himself on his goodness. He donated to charity. Volunteered at shelters. Yet, his family avoided him. His friends ghosted him.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he’s exhausting,” his daughter said. “He’s so busy being good, he forgot how to be human.”
That’s the irony: Goodness, when worn as a badge, becomes a barrier.
How to Break Free From the Goodness Trap
- Stop Comparing
Next time you feel “good,” ask: “Who am I comparing myself to?” Then drop the comparison. True goodness doesn’t need a benchmark. - Embrace Your Shadows
You’re not a saint. You’re a human. A messy, flawed, beautiful human. Stop hiding your shadows. They’re what make you real. - Trade Goodness for Aliveness
Goodness is static. Aliveness is dynamic. Instead of asking, “Am I good?” ask, “Am I alive?”
The Unseen Truth: Goodness Is a Distraction
You’ve been taught to chase goodness like it’s the holy grail. But here’s the twist: Goodness is a distraction from the real work—becoming whole.
Wholeness isn’t about being good or bad. It’s about being authentic. It’s about embracing every part of yourself—the light, the dark, and the murky in-between.
The Invitation (No Moral Compass Required)
Tonight, sit in silence. Close your eyes. Feel your breath. Notice how your body moves without your permission.
Now ask: *“What if I stopped trying to be good and started trying to be *real?”
The answer isn’t in a sermon. A self-help book. A guru’s wisdom.
It’s in the way your heart beats—wild, untamed, and utterly free.
P.S. The next time someone calls you “good,” smile. Then whisper: *“I’m not good. I’m *alive.”
Now go live. Messily. Authentically. Unapologetically.
The world doesn’t need more “good” people. It needs more real ones.